The Straight Dope on dopers and more!!!
Here at MMM we attract and report the mayhem too. Part of that is indeed the world of sports, with its nefarious users of Gatorade and Preparation-H. I know, I’ve smelled it. It can not be called anything other than mayhem, where a spectrum of society includes, but is not limited to, drugs, criminal activity, murder, cheating, love, sex, death, absurd amounts of money and, well, athletic competition.
The Sports World also smells of crooked teeth and politicians. Just ask Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) why he’s so obsessed with sports these days. I think it’s the special garments. When the BS of the BCS starts to invade central government, it’s gotta be either pork-bellied attention, or something’s really ficked up. (That was an especially clean expletive for The Hatch.) Yer Welcome, O.
Killer Lacrosse Program
I betchya didn’t know there’s some fightin’ Cavaliers on this here staff; the ‘Hoos from Monticello recently mourned the passing, err, KILLING of one of their own. This truly is a sad enough story that the (hot, sexy, gorgeous) girl appears on tabloid covers, but really, this only reminds me that intra-office relationships need only exist in one’s longing heart.
Jose Lima - John Sleezer/The Kansas City Star
Jose “Lima Time” Lima, a truly iconic marengue dancing starting pitcher for the Tigers, Astros, Royals and Dodgers, died yesterday of a massive coronary. I saw the man pitch, back when it was simply a miracle he was still pitching, let alone getting guys out. Joe Posnanski – as usual, just bookmark this guy – eulogizes Lima Time as he should be remembered.
My publisher really likes the attention!
Lima never used ‘roids or cheated on his wife, to our knowledge. Another fella made news this last week that he did, in fact cheat. And I’m not talking Tiger Woods or Lawrence Taylor. But Floyd Landis, he of the pock-marked Tour de France champion. He’s got a new book, and while slingin’ pages at this last week’s Tour of California, he slung some mud at legendary fellow US cyclists Greg LeMond and Lance Armstrong.
Speaking of Legendary, the stuff Legends are made of, Lane Kiffin, USC’s new head football coach, was reported as making $4 million this upcoming season, and his father, defensive guru Monte, is making $2 million, which brings the USC athletic department salary numbers into question. I could give a shite, but in this vein, I have to look to EDSBS, a blog covering the SEC and College Football in general, that has some wacky contributions. Oh Lane, yer so Dreamy… or at least yer wife is. YUMMY!
She looks cold, Lane... in the sun.
Another great college sports blog, covering everything from particular male genetic preferences, to college baseball seeding tendancies, is Barking Carnival. Scagnetti can be found on those pages. HERE they discuss the latest in the growing trend of conference realignment in college football.
While some politicians are interested in the future college football landscape, the Commander-in-Chief will not be deterred by tampering laws. Probably because he doesn’t work for the NBA. King Obama is trying to lure King James away from the Cleveland Cavaliers. (There’s that mascot again… scandal!) A die-hard Chicago sports fan, he of the White Sox caps and Bulls summer workouts, The Prez currently lobbies for Jerry Reisndorf, the toadie.
What the World Cup SHOULD Be
It’s been widely viewed, lauded and condemned. I don’t really give a shite, I just want the games to begin. The ad eatures Nike’s stable of superstar footballers Landon Donovan and Cristiano Ronaldo, among others and is directed by Alejandro Inarritu, he of 21 Grams, Amoros Perros, Babel and this year’s Cannes entry Biutiful. The short contains cameos from Roger Federer, Kobe Bryant and even Homer Simpson.
Sports invades our lives, encompasses the world of higher ethics and mass media, and causes MAYHEM on a massive scale. On Wednesday, the discussion will include more cheating – now of the savory kind – and a little boys dream of West Texas High School basketball stardom… and young girls!
Till then, I leave you with……… This is why we can’t have nice things!!!
